Aftermath
by JustAnotherRainyDai
Summary: Set post-Amazing Spider-Man movie. Peter hasn't put on his suit since that night two months ago when he'd beaten Doctor Connors. He feels lost and doesn't know what to do with the promise he made to Gwen's dad. But most of all, he blames himself for everything that's happened. So what will happen when he inadvertently puts Gwen in danger? Gwen/Peter. Peter's POV.
1. Blood On His Hands

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Hey! This is my first Spider-Man fanfiction. This is set in the Amazing Spider-Man movie universe (Andrew Garfield as Peter, yumm). I will be continuing this and I do have a plot in mind, although now I need to rework a few things because this chapter came out differently than I had expected. Also, sorry that Peter is so sulky/depressed. He won't stay like this in throughout the story, just at the beginning while he figures things out. He'll be back, at least in part, to his sarcastic/dorky attitude soon._

_I also wrote this disregarding the final scene in the movie where Peter's swinging through the city as Spidey. Sorry if that upsets anyone. And while this is Gwen/Peter, my plan is not to have it consumed in romance. In my brief expedition through the various Spider-Man fics out there, I found that practically 90% of them were romance. I want something different._

_I regrettably have never read the comics, so my deepest apologies if this fic and those don't match up. I'm trying to keep it as canon as I can._

_Please read and review, if you'd like! Reviews mean faster updates because they inspire me. : ) Constructive feedback is welcomed as well, especially involving grammar mistakes.  
_

_**Warnings: **__Rated T for violence, mild swearing, and mild romance. For now, just to be safe._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Spider-Man, the movies, or the comics. I only own the writing, story, and some OCs later on._

_-Indigo_

* * *

I didn't know what to do now. I felt hurt, empty, and betrayed. Maybe because I had once believed Dr. Connors to be my friend. Maybe it was the promise I'd made to Gwen's father the night he'd died. Maybe it was because things had finally settled and I'd lost my purpose. Or just maybe it was some dizzying mix of all three.

If I was being completely honest, I definitely blamed myself for what happened to Dr. Connors and for Captain Stacy's death. Rightly so, too. It was my fault. If I hadn't given Dr. Connors the equation he needed, none of this would have come to pass. Captain Stacy would still be alive. I'd still have Gwen.

Sinking to the floor of my room, I pulled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, looking dejected. I put my chin on my knees. I swallowed twice, just to make sure I wasn't in danger of crying. Ever since that fateful night in New York City that I'd "saved the day," I hadn't put on my suit once. Not once. I hadn't wanted to, even though I knew people out there needed me. Newspapers were running wild, all asking where I'd gone. The Daily Bugle commonly wrote up articles saying crap about me, that I'd been a fraud all along and that I was really on the dark side. Of course, they wrote it more convincingly than that.

And with every day that passed without sight of Spider-Man, the city grew more and more inclined to believe it. It killed me a little inside to know that their trust in me could be swayed so easily. I'd been their hero, but that didn't matter now. Some hero I was, though. I could barely keep myself from breaking down completely and giving up these days. Aunt May left me to myself, mainly, sensing that I needed time to wind down. I think she suspected that I was Spider-Man, even if she never directly said so aloud. Too many correlations existed between me and him: me always coming home beaten up right after Spider-Man had helped the city in some way, me never being home when Spider-Man was sighted, and me spending so much time researching stuff in my room. She'd probably even connected Spider-Man's absence to me being home so much.

She suspected, of course. She had to. I just think she was waiting for definite verification before she confronted me. I would never tell her, I couldn't. I couldn't face her knowing that I'd kept this a secret from her. It would break her, I was sure, knowing that I hadn't told her. My reasons wouldn't make any sense to her.

I glanced over at my calendar. It had been exactly two months since that night when I'd finally beaten Dr. Connors. I felt bile rise in my throat and swallowed quickly. My grades had dropped, that was something Aunt May had noticed. I'd gone from a straight A's student to one that would be lucky if he got a C in a class. It was always hard being at school, because _she_ would always be there. We needed to talk, but I didn't know if I was ready. I loved Gwen, she was an amazing girl. And it killed me knowing I'd hurt her. So far, I'd kept my promise to Gwen's dad. I didn't know if it was because I didn't want to break it or if I just wasn't ready to resume my relationship with Gwen.

I missed her so much... her smile, her laugh, her kisses. I would do anything to protect her, didn't Captain Stacy know that? I respected that man. How could I break my word to a man that was now dead because he tried to protect me? I ran a hand up my face and through my hair, grunting tiredly and letting my head fall back into the wall behind me with a thud. I looked up at the ceiling, noticing again all the already memorized imperfections in it. The bit of water damage in the far corner, the dark patch right in the center, an area closer by that paint was chipping off of, and a slight ripple in the sea of smooth off-white paint just above me. Something far off in the back of my head reminded me, _again_, that I shouldn't be able to list all of those things off without having to think about it. I'd obviously spent a lot of time in the past two months staring absentmindedly at that ceiling.

Getting up, which was harder than it should have for a boy of seventeen, I headed over to my closet and pushed open the doors. I shoved aside some junk - someone was going to have to remind me to eventually throw out that moldy pizza slice - and dragged out a plain cardboard box from way in the back. I sat crossed-legged on the ground, unmoving, as I stared at it for a good five minutes. Finally, I filled my lungs with a deep, steadying breath and lifted the lid from the box. Inside, heavily shadowed, was a red and blue suit. My suit.

Gingerly, I lifted the mask and held it at arm's length before me. I swallowed once, my arms shaking but from what I didn't know. I knew - _I knew -_- I had to put back on this suit sooner or later. The people needed me. I couldn't let them believe I had abandoned them. But the memories that came along with it were near unbearable. I couldn't look at the colorful fabric without remembering Uncle Ben, without thinking of what I'd done to Dr. Connors, of Captain Stacy's death... Sometimes, if I looked really hard, I could almost still see Uncle Ben's blood on my hands. I'd tried to stop the bleeding. It hadn't made a difference.

"Peter! Dinner; come down out of your room," Aunt May called from the kitchen.

With a sound of disgust, I shoved the mask back in the box and violently kicked it back to the depths of my closet. I couldn't deal with this. Not now. I humorlessly remembered the movies where everything went back to normal after the bad dude was done away with. How far that was from the truth. Dr. Connors hadn't even really been bad, he just didn't know what he was doing. I bit my lip and headed for my door.

"Coming, Aunt May!"

I bounded down the stairs and stepped into the dining room, slouched over. The smell of roast chicken greeted me, but I wasn't that hungry. Had I mentioned that I'd lost twenty pounds since that night two months ago? I knew Aunt May was worried. I slid onto the chair at the table, immediately resting my elbows on the table.

Aunt May walked in from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of water, and didn't say anything. Normally she would have demanded I mind my manners and get my elbows off the table. But I think she was willing to let me do whatever I wanted now just so long as I stopped sulking.

"Hi," I said with a half-hearted grin.

Aunt May pushed a strand of hair out of her face and looked at me with a concerned expression. "Peter, I-"

"I don't want to talk, if that's what you're going to ask," I said, cutting her off. My voice sounded more defeated than it did demanding.

"No, of course not. How was school?"

I shrugged and didn't answer. She sighed, then served me some chicken. We had eaten in silence for a few minutes when my phone buzzed. It had been so long since anyone texted or called me, I almost jumped. I glanced down at the screen. I'd gotten a text.

"Who's that?" Aunt May asked, probably just to break the silence.

I didn't answer at first. I just stared at the screen. I'm sure she'd long since given up hope of receiving a reply when I finally said softly, "It's Gwen."


	2. Blame, Decisions, and Fro-Yo

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Took a little while to get this chapter written, but the good news is that it's twice as long as the other one. Is it bad that I'm using a kiss as a plot device and really nothing more?_

_Next chapter will hopefully be out by next week!_

_Please read and review. Constructive criticism is also welcomed._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Spider-Man, the movies, or the comics. I only own the writing, story, and some OCs later on._

_-Indigo_

* * *

I'd read the message Gwen sent to me exactly one-hundred and thirty-six times. I counted.

"where r u?"

Leaning back on my bed, I closed my eyes and let the cell-phone fall next to me. If it had been just about any other person sending me that text, I might have taken it completely literally. But I knew she meant it in all its possible meanings. Where was I, emotionally? Where was I, in my relationship with her? And most importantly, where was Spider-Man?

In anger, I grabbed my phone and hurtled it across the room. By now, one would really think I'd learned the power of my own strength, but clearly I hadn't. I stared dumbly at the hole in my wall that my phone had punched through.

Dammit. What was Aunt May going to say?

Tentatively, I rose and reached into the hole, coating my arm in a thin layer of fine white dust. I grimaced at the harm I'd caused. Really should consider reigning in that temper. I grabbed my cell and examined it, turning it around in my hands and searching for any noticeable signs of damage. Well, those scratches were new and I distinctly didn't remember there being drywall stuck in the keypad, but otherwise it looked okay. Just to be sure, I flipped it on. The screen lit up, although I saw it had cracked at the top right.

I shouldn't be surprised that it survived, the thing was a like a brick. It had definitely been through worse (well, maybe). Old phones like mine were so much more durable than those new iPhones or whatever. I seriously didn't get why people bought the fancy devices, the cheap ones last longer _and_ could survive being thrown through a wall. So what if they didn't have "apps"?

Aunt May usually didn't come into my room, especially as of late, but I still decided to move over my desk to cover up the damage. I'd fix it later. I wanted to text back Gwen, I did, though I didn't know what to say or if I should even respond. Maybe she could help me out, because I sure wasn't helping myself by just sitting around mopping. I sat down and my desk and leaned on it, chin on my elbow. Bored, I flicked back and forth a pencil; it kept on rolling back to me. My brow furrowed and I sighed, burying my face in my arm. I must have stayed like that for fifteen minutes before I lifted my head, bleary eyed.

Finally I made a decision. I texted Gwen a hurried reply. As soon as the message sent, I walked over to the hanger on the back of my door and grabbed my coat. The familiar weight of the brown jacket fell onto my shoulders and I flipped up the collar on it. I grabbed my backpack as well, then headed for the door. My hand hovered over the doorknob, hesitating. I glanced back at my closet, biting my lip. With a spin of my heels, I turned around and flung open the closet door. Without thinking twice about what I was doing, because I was sure I would talk myself out of it, I stuffed my suit into my backpack.

I walked out of my room and down the stairs, taking two at a time. Aunt May was in the living room at the front of the house reading a book. I paused and looked at her for a few seconds. She still hadn't spotted me standing there. Her face looked worn and ten years older than it had before Uncle Ben had been murdered. I took a deep breath, forcing thoughts of Uncle Ben away-I couldn't think about him. It was too painful.

"Hey," I said gently, leaning one shoulder casually against the wall. She looked up, startled, then exhaled. She definitely looked a bit surprised to see me.

"What do you need, dear?" she asked, beginning to stand. I motioned for her to sit back down.

"No-don't get up. I'm gonna go meet up with a friend, okay? I'll be back in a few hours." While I spoke, I glanced down at the time on my cell. 8:37 PM. Aunt May never really liked me leaving the house late, after all the times I'd come home beaten up and after Uncle Ben had been... I cut off that thought. I'd promised myself not to think about that.

I could tell she wanted me to stay home, but she finally waved her hand dismissively. "All right," she finally answered. "Just try and be home before midnight. You have a key, right? I don't like leaving the door open after dark."

I nodded. "See you, Aunt May. And don't worry, I won't be out too late." I walked over and gave her a light kiss on the cheek, then headed for the entryway. I tried to imagine that I hadn't, but I heard her sigh as I opened the door and stepped out into the chilly air. I crossed my arms and hunched up my shoulders, trying to keep warm. Should've thought to bring another coat.

The street lights cast ominous looking shadows on the ground below. I was never really scared to walk around New York City late at night. I could take anything that came my way, what with the enhanced senses and strength and all that other crap. Still, I quickened my pace. I didn't want to be late. Though, there was the chance that Gwen wouldn't even come. I had a feeling she would, however, because she must miss me as much as I missed her. She had to, right?

My walk was uneventful, asides from two people having a yell-out on the side of the street. Couldn't they do that somewhere else? It was annoying. I arrived at my destination, a frozen yogurt place, a few minutes early. For a second, I debated going inside where it was heated, but finally determined I'd wait for her outside. _This was a idiotic idea,_ I thought irritably. _Who gets frozen yogurt at the end of fall?_ As I glanced inside and saw the line, I realized a lot of people must. I had no idea why, but frozen yogurt, or "fro-yo," had become this big deal as of late. Personally, it had never been my favorite, but Gwen loved the stuff. Especially the passion fruit and mango flavor.

I shook my head and developed a intense fascination with staring at my shoes. Right on the dot at 9:00 PM, I heard a voice call my name. I spun around on my heels and came face-to-face with Gwen. She looked even more gorgeous than I'd remembered. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun and she was wearing a long-sleeved sweater. For a moment, I was unable to think of anything coherent to say. My thoughts short-circuited and I was tongue-tied. It felt like all those times I'd had to give presentations in class and couldn't remember what I had to say.

"What's up?" I managed weakly, throwing a forced grin her way for good measure. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and shifted my feet.

As an answer, she stepped forwards and pulled me into a hug. Her face was pressed into my shoulder. I was too shocked to respond for a second, but I finally hugged her back. Damn, she smelled nice. We stayed in that position for a minute before she pulled back, her hands on my shoulders as she looked me over.

"You look terrible," she stated bluntly and it shocked me into laughing softly. It felt like forever since I'd been able to laugh. Still, a pit of guilt lingered in my gut. I was breaking my promise to Gwen's dad _right now._ A man that was dead because of me. I swallowed.

"Well, you know. I try," I said, knowing how true her observation must be. I hadn't been sleeping too well over the past few weeks. I ran a hand through my hair, ruffling it. There was some unspoken agreement between the two of us that we wouldn't speak of any of the issues that had kept us apart for so long. Even if they did need to be talked over desperately, neither one of us would be the one to start the conversation rolling.

"So, you planning on standing out here all night or do you want to go in?" She cocked her head to the side, her eyes never leaving my face. I had the distinct feeling she was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I shifted uncomfortably, then motioned for us to head inside. Gwen walked in as I held the door for her and followed after her.

There were all sorts of fun-colored decorations on the walls. It was self-serve frozen yogurt, so we got in line. Neither one of us talked as we waited and filled up our paper bowls with the creamy substance. I'd gotten vanilla, which Gwen broke the silence to say it was a boring choice. We headed for table in the far corner after I'd paid. She hung her bag on the back of the chair and sat down, putting a spoonful of yogurt in her mouth. I just stirred mine around in the bowl but didn't bother with actually eating it.

"Place is pretty busy, kind of shocked since it's so cold out," Gwen murmured softly, looking out the window into the street beyond.

I grunted in acknowledgment, but decided after a second that she deserved more than that. "Yeah, probably 'cause it's a Friday night. Places are always busier then." I finally took a bite of yogurt, even though I swallowed without actually tasting it.

Gwen looked down at her hands and shifted in her chair, looking uncomfortable. This had been a terrible idea, asking her out for yogurt. Hadn't I realized how awkward this would be for the both of us? I could have punched myself. She stunned me when she whispered in a barely audible voice, "I've missed you, Peter."

"Me too," I responded almost without thinking. "Wait, no. I mean I've missed you, not that I miss myself. Sorry, am I making any sense?" I said in a rush, and I dug my palm into my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before looking up. She was staring at me, a small grin on her face. "What?" I demanded.

"That's the Peter I know." She was still smiling and I tried smirking back at her. I never quite realized how much I missed her smile. I decided to play along.

"Oh, you mean the devilishly handsome, mad genius, award-winningly amazing, and altogether too humble Peter?" I teased, knowing that what I'd just said was a crapload of nonsense.

She smirked seductively at me. "No," she purred, tapping my nose with her index finger playfully, "I mean the awkward, adorable, and lovable bug boy Peter." Ever since that one night, 'Bug boy' had become a sort of nickname for me. But now, it reminded me of my alter-ego and my mood soured again. I felt guilty all of the sudden. Thoughts of all the things I blamed myself for rushed through my head, like a car spinning out of control.

"No, not anymore." She gave me a confused look, surprised at my change of tone. "I can't... I can't do this. Not after the promise I made to your dad. I'm sorry." I got up, ignoring the pained expression that had crossed her face when I brought up the topic of her dad.

Gwen jumped to her feet and grabbed my arm before I could leave. "Peter, wait. What danger are you putting me in by being yourself? It's not as if... you're not yourself." As much as that made no sense, I understood what she was referring to. "Speaking of that, though. Where is your 'not self'?" I tried to hide my shock at her directness.

"Gone."

"Peter... You can't do this. The city needs you. _I_ need you." Gwen had a pleading look in her eyes that I couldn't stand seeing. "You can't change what you are."

"I'll... think about it," I muttered, scratching the back of my neck. I threw my half-eaten bowl of yogurt into the trash ten feet away with perfect aim. Back before a little thing called 'fate' had decided to screw with my life, I wouldn't have made that shot. It just proved that I wasn't the old me. And I couldn't go back to it either, no matter what I might try. I was Spider-Man, trying to deny it would lead to nowhere.

Gwen frowned and then let her hand fall from my arm. "All right, Peter. You know, it's late. I better head home. See you Monday."

"Bye, Gwen." It hurt to say her name after so long. I wanted to offer to walk her home, but I didn't. My tongue felt thick. I watched her walk away, out the door, and into the night beyond. Turning, I noticed she'd forgotten her bag at the table. I picked it up, fingering the canvas texture. I brought the material up to my face and smelled it, drinking in her scent. I shut my eyes, thinking. When I opened them I noticed a few people were staring at me.

"I, uh..." I stammered, then quickly walked over the store's restrooms and locked myself in. Above me, a single light bulb cast a flickering glow in the small room. I hung up my backpack and Gwen's bag on the hanger attached to the door and stepped over to the sink, looking at my reflection. Gwen hadn't been kidding, I looked awful. My eyes were sunken and my whole face looked drawn out. Even my hair looked a bit duller than normal. I turned on the sink and splashed frigid water on my face.

After I dried off, I took a quick look at my backpack. My suit was in there. I didn't know why I'd dragged it along. All I could think about was how Gwen was right. I couldn't change who I was. A few seconds passed with me still standing there, frozen. I didn't move until I heard a person banging on the door.

"Will you hurry up, buddy? I have to go!" the man outside shouted. I didn't respond as I headed for the door. I almost opened it, but instead unzipped my backpack. My mask fell out and I just barely caught it before it plummeted down to the dirty floor. I stared at the reflective lens, still lost in thought.

I couldn't change what I was. What I had become. If ever I had a purpose, it was to help this city. No turning back. No second guessing. The time of that was over. It had to be.

Ignoring the man pounding on the door, I dragged out the rest of my suit and, after a single moment of hesitation, hurriedly put it on. Man, I'd forgotten how uncomfortable spandex could be in, well... certain places. I put my clothes on over my suit and stuffed my mask inside my pocket. There, I looked perfectly normal. On the outside, anyway. I desperately hoped I wasn't going to regret this decision.

Shrugging on my backpack and slinging Gwen's bag over my shoulder, I finally opened the door. A hairy man that was at least a head taller than me stood waiting. "Took you long enough, kid! What, you have the runs?" he asked in a heavy New Yorker accent. I tried not to look disgusted.

"Sorry, restroom's all yours now," I told him, shoving passed him. I'd have to hurry if I was to catch Gwen before she got home. I just about ran out the door. As soon as I was outside, I darted into an alley and shed off my outer layer of clothing, revealing my suit beneath.

"Now, the finishing touch." I slipped on my mask. I felt more alive than I had been in weeks. "Time to make like a hero." I'd heard the phrase from somewhere before, but I couldn't place it.

Without hesitation, I shot a web at the top of the nearest building. The rush, the exhilaration, _the elegance_ of shooting through the air made me practically yell out in joy. I'd almost missed that feeling the most out of everything. I felt like, as cliché as it may sound, poetry in motion. I ran across the top of the building once I pulled myself onto the roof. I knew where I was going. I had this route memorized, even if I was coming from a different direction.

Though I was no longer as practiced as I would have liked and I had to carefully think through every movement, I still made good time. This was the distraction I was looking for. Exactly what I thought I needed to run away from. I saw her walking down below, outlined in light from the street-lamp. Moving faster than any human has a right to, I slipped into an alley ahead of her.

Her apartment building was just up this street, so I'd barely caught her in time. I waited silently in the dark street, waiting for her to pass in front of it. When she did, I shot a web at her, pulling her into the alley with me.

"What the - Peter!" she shouted at the exact time I said, "Shhh! Keep it down." She was pressed against me and I looked at her, though I knew she couldn't see my eyes.

"You did it," she said, breaking out into a grin. And tackled me in a hug and a dropped a step backward. I was grinning too. "Nice work, bug boy." The nickname didn't inspire a guilty sensation in me this time.

"Decided I'd swing by," I murmured into her hair.

She finally let go and then brought her hands up to my face, fingering the hem of my mask. I made a move to stop her, back she forced my hand down.

"I'm proud of you, Peter." She lifted the mask slightly, so that my mouth was visible. Then Gwen kissed me, causing my Spidey-Senses to tingle in a whole new way than they normally did. I responded to her kiss, tilting my head to get a better angle. I don't know how long we stood there kissing in that alley. All I know was that it was the best damn thing that's happened to me in a long time.

After we broke apart, I held up her bag with two fingers. "Also, you forgot this."

**THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW**

The man leaned forward on the tips of his toes, a grin spreading across his face. He watched the two kiss in the dark alley from the building above. Spider-Man had finally decided to show his masked face again. It was a real stroke of luck that he'd seen the infamous hero swing by just now. He might have missed this opportunity. His employer would be positively thrilled with this new development. Not only was Spidey back, but it appeared he had some he cared about. In other words, leverage.

He pulled out a camera, shut off the flash, and took a few quick pictures of the two. He was extremely careful to get a good image of the girl's face. Spider-Man might be elusive and hard to find, but this girl, likely as not, wouldn't be.

The smile on his lips grew wider and he dialed a few numbers on his phone. It rung three times.

"Hey!" he said into the phone, watching the scene down below. "Thought you might like to hear some new news about Spider-Man and the chick he's currently making out with." The man on the other line answered that he'd very much like to hear about this.


	3. Icy Veins

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Thank you so much for all the favorites and follows! And to the two people that reviewed, thank you as well! I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far._

_Sorry for the wait on this chapter. I've been pretty busy, what with Christmas just a week away and everything. But I hope it's worth the wait! And whoot, we're finally getting somewhere with this plot. : ) Peter's not so sulky anymore either! Almost back to his old self, even if a bit more snarky. Also, sorry for the long monologue at the beginning of this chapter._

_Did any of you like the 3rd person switch in the end of the last chapter? There's definitely places where I could do that again, but if you'd just like to hear Peter's POV that's also totally cool._

_If you're reading this story, I'd love for you to review! I'm not going to be one of those people who beg for reviews, though, since it's totally your choice whether you want to or not. And if you're interested in hearing about the progress of the latest chapter, I'll be putting up updates on my profile._

_Thanks and hope you enjoy! Sorry if I switched tenses at all in this chapter; I wrote it half in present and half in past (not sure how) and I believe I edited it all back to past tense._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Spider-Man, the movies, or the comics. I only own the writing, story, and some OCs later on._

_-Indigo_

* * *

After that night when we grabbed frozen yogurt and I'd finally put back on my suit, I had suddenly felt so guilty I could barely stand it. You know what? Sometimes I hated being an honest guy. I really did. On a brighter note, I've made a return as Spider-Man. The papers were busily shooting out article after article about me. Half of them were speculating why I left and what made me return, and the other half were either reporting the facts (and by "facts," I meant blowing the truth way out of portion) or scorning me for coming back.

Really nice to know I'm loved. I swear, I've given up on newspapers completely. It's funny, I used to trust everything the papers said as absolute fact as I'm sure a lot of people do. But now that I saw how inaccurate the reports about me were, it made me question all the other news articles as well.

I've been using my police scanner to know where I'm needed to help out. There's a new chief of police now and he doesn't seem to be as hell-bent on my arrest. Maybe because, no matter how one twisted it, I did _kinda_ save the city. They tolerated me, but I'm sure if they had the chance they'd take me into the station. Being Spider-Man had turned into a pretty thankless job, though I'm okay with that. I knew what I was getting back into. Besides, most of the city adored me.

This past week, while trying to dodge Gwen in the hallways at school, I've helped the authorities arrest three criminals with multiple warrants. I know, I know. That doesn't sound like much, but I was getting back into the "swing" of things. Bad Spidey jokes aside, I guess I wasn't totally back to myself. People didn't tend to snap back straight away after two months' worth of mopping.

The more I thought about it, the more I hated myself for doing nothing over these past two months. Which wasn't the thing that I needed to be doing, because I was going to end up right back where I started. Yes, I blamed myself for what happened to Dr. Connors. Yes, I blamed myself for Captain Stacy's death. But I couldn't change what happened. Not even the renowned Spider-Man could turn back time.

As for my avoidance of Gwen, I didn't even know how to explain it. I thought it was because of my promise, mostly. And how I knew she could end up getting hurt at the end of all this. Frankly, that scared me to death, knowing that she could end up getting seriously injured or even killed because of her relationship with me. People didn't know that me and Spider-Man were one in the same. But what would happen if they did find out? Everyone at school knew Gwen and I were dating (even if we were on the outs now). I could take care of myself, but could I protect her at the same time? Hopefully I wasn't tested on this, because I've never liked tests.

I guess I knew that, in a way, Captain Stacy was right. At the same time I felt backed into a corner, liking Gwen but at same time I knew that if I ever dismissed my promise to Gwen's dad, she could get hurt.

In an effort to distract myself from my thoughts, I flipped on my police scanner to see what was going on around the city. For a few minutes, nothing much of interest was reported. But then I heard one cop call for backup. Apparently, get this, some dude had stolen some rare spiders from an exhibit in the Bronx zoo. I chuckled at the irony of that and promptly decided to go check into it. The news crews would get a kick out of this.

It was a little past 4:30 p.m., so I climbed out the window after putting on my suit instead of telling Aunt May I was going out. She probably wouldn't want me leaving. With any luck at all, I'd been back in time for dinner. We didn't live far from the zoo, only about ten minutes drive or so, and I could probably make it there in fifteen. I swung from my webbing and over the tops of buildings. A few people noticed me above them and began pointing. I was used to that, so I hardly gave it a second thought.

Despite my best effort, it took a little longer than fifteen minutes to reach the zoo. I was perched on top of a building, leaning over and looking at the swarm of squad cars and brightly flashing lights. What were they doing? Surely the criminal wouldn't still be here. Hadn't they sent some of their boys in pursuit of the guy who had stolen the spiders? I tried not to smile at just how ironic that was, again, as I ran across the roof and launched myself over a street and onto the next building.

By this time, the fuzz had seen me. I heard them call over the loud speaker, "Spider-Man, we have this under control."

Sure ya did.

Anyway, I was already out of hearing range by the time they spoke again. The sound of the loud speaker was just a faint buzzing in my ear. Like an irritating fly or something. Naturally, I ignored it.

I ran through all the possibilities of where the man with the spiders (I swear, I didn't even crack a smile this time) could have run off to. I knew the police hadn't caught him yet, because I was still listening to the police scanner as they called for backup. So that means this guy must be running around the city somewhere, trying to escape.

Thanks to what I'd heard over the scanner, the man was medium-sized with blond hair. Maybe wearing a black coat. It didn't seem like much to go on, but I had to try. Hopefully the information was accurate. After all, this was only from witnesses. I headed northward, knowing I had to try somewhere. Ten minutes later, I was just about ready to give up and head home for dinner. _I should just let the cops handle this..._

Suddenly, though, as I swung across a street, I felt the back of my neck prickle. Every since that spider had bitten me, my senses had gotten all screwed up. I could always tell if I was in danger/if something was wrong. And hell, I certainly wasn't complaining about that.

I glanced down below me, looking at all the people down below to see if anyone fit the description. My eyesight was much better than a normal human's, so everything was crystal clear. I squinted, my lips pursing beneath my mask. Suddenly I spotted him. I don't know how I knew it was him, but I had this feeling that it was. He was shoving his way passed some people, who quickly got out of his way with disgusted expressions.

I shot a web toward the top of the building I was next to, I little farther up than I was now. My eyes didn't leave the man walking down below. I was in pretty clear view, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he just happened to glance up right where I was. I saw his eyes widen (crystal clear vision, remember?) and he started running. He quickly sidestepped into an alley.

Sighing, I swiftly followed in pursuit. Didn't they know running was useless? It was starting to get dark and I knew Aunt May was probably already wondering where I was at. I had to make this quick. As soon as I reached the alley he'd dodged into, I half-climbed, half-webbed my way down. It was a dead-end and I hadn't seen him leave, so I took a cursory look around. _Huh, that's strange... Where'd he-_

My train of thought was interrupted by something hard and none too pleasant slamming into my skull from behind. Dammit, I was almost seeing stars. That would've knocked out just about anybody else.

Still, I couldn't afford to wait around until my head stopped spinning. I whirled around, dazed, much preferring to face my opponent head-on. Even in the heavily shadowed alley, I could make out his face. Extremely pronounced cheek-bones, droopy eyes, and a slight scar by his chin. He was holding a hunk of metal that was long and rusted. So, that's what had hit me. I immediately dropped into a battle stance.

"Hi, I believe you've probably heard about me," I said cheerfully, grinning despite him not being able to see it. "Now, just give me back the spiders and I won't have to punch your face in." I felt blood begin to run down the back of my neck. Wow, he really _had _managed to hit me.

The man just smiled at me. For some reason, his grin made my gut clench, though it could be because both his front teeth had been knocked loose. Then he darted forward, swinging that piece of metal like a sword. I dodged to the side easily, but he was expecting that. He fist managed to catch me in the ribs. That was sure to leave a bruise. I hissed in a breath and shot a web at his hand, hoping to pin him back against a wall. The dude was too fast, however, and saw was I was doing. He moved his hand out of the way long before my web went flying.

Some part of me was beating myself up over letting someone get the better of me like this. I hadn't even landed a hit, but he's managed two! I knew it was because this was no longer routine for me. It's amazing what not practicing this stuff can do, it's like I had to totally re-train my muscles.

He sent a punch toward my face, but I moved to the side and grabbed his wrist. I twisted it around, satisfied with the sharp intake of breath I received in response. Bracing myself, I hefted him over my shoulder and sent him flying into the deeps of alley. There, finally I'd done something at least next to impressive. I put my hands on my knees, leaning over, and took in a few deep breaths. When I straightened, I walked over to where he had landed limply. I squatted down beside him, about to check the inside of his coat for the box (or whatever the things were housed in) containing the spiders, when I felt something sharp prick my stomach. I shot a look downward and saw that he had a blade posed to stab me in the gut.

I didn't know how I had allowed myself to be so careless, I should have made sure he was unconscious before letting my guard down. I'm lucky he actually didn't stab me, though, because I'd be in pretty bad shape right now. As it was, I simply swatted the knife from his grasp without skipping a beat. I had to act completely confident on the outside.

"So, anymore surprises that I should watch out for?" I asked as I pinned his right hand to the ground with some webbing. You know, just to be safe. He looked at me with blazing eyes, but remained silent. What was with this guy? Couldn't he talk?

I flipped open his jacket, putting aide the unseemliness of what I was doing, and felt around in the pockets. I found three boxes, two that were about the same size and one I little bit bigger. I felt my fingers tingle as soon as I made contact with the cages. He tried to get up a few times, but I stuck his other hand down and pushed him down with my knee.

"Like spiders? Hey, me too. We should go grab coffee or something once you get out of jail."

I got up to pull him off the ground so I could deliver him to the police, but stopped when I smelled something burning. Suddenly, the guy wasn't on the ground anymore, but standing right in front of me. My eyes widened and I saw that my webbing had been burnt through somehow. How had he done that so quickly? This man just had a ton of tricks up his sleeve, apparently.

Slightly stunned, I was unable to react in time when he shoved passed me. His shoulder rammed into mine and I fell back a step. Before I could fully turn, he'd disappeared. I swore violently and put a hand to my throbbing shoulder. I was still holding the containers that the spiders were in, so I decided just to let the police find thief later. Aunt May was probably really worried at this point. I'd drop the spiders off the police station or something later.

As I started to climb the nearest building, I noticed something graffitied into the wall. I paused, narrowing my eyes in an attempt to read the words in the dimming light. Suddenly it felt like a bucket of ice had been dumped into my veins. My mind went numb.

Written messily across the wall in red was: "We know who she is, Spider-Man. And if you don't cooperate, we'll make sure you never see her again." Below these words was an address and a time to meet up.

I took off as fast as I could to Gwen's apartment, dropping the cages containing the spiders in my breathless haste.


	4. Breathe

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ Hey everyone! My apologies for the wait on this update. Times seems to pass by so fast, I hadn't realized it had been more than a month since chapter 3. Safe to say, though, I won't be giving up on this story. : )_

_I decided to split this chapter into two, mostly because it would take me longer to update if I added everything I wanted into it. Figured the wait had been long enough. Hopefully you'll enjoy the chapter! I'll try to get number 5 out sooner than later (I already have part of it written). It might be a week or two, however, since I have a fanfiction idea that I'm dying to write._

_Also, I changed the last sentence of chapter 3 so that Peter's heading to Gwen's, not to his home._

_Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! Your support helps me to write faster!  
_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Spider-Man, the movies, or the comics. I only own the writing, story, and some OCs later on._

_-Indigo_

* * *

I began running to Gwen's apartment building in a complete daze, sometimes swinging from rooftops and other times just sprinting through the streets. I had to warn her. I had to project her. I had to do... something! Adrenaline was racing through my veins like ice, but I barely even noticed. My vision kept on threatening to black out.

People stared at me, doubtless wondering what Spider-Man was heading off so quickly to do. I couldn't let them distract me, though. I had to see Gwen, make sure she was safe. Fear tickled the back of my mind as it shoved terrifying images flashing before me... Gwen being kidnapped, hurt, killed. I tried to push them away, but they were overpowering me. My breath was coming in quick, short gasps and a cold sweat coated every inch of my body.

If anything happened to her because of me, I would never forgive myself. I thought I knew all about putting blame on myself. Turns out, I didn't have a clue. I hadn't known Captain Stacy that well. I'd known Dr. Connors, but I always knew something was off about him. It wasn't the same, not by a long shot. The only thing that compared was Uncle Ben's death, though that I hadn't been able to prevent. But this was Gwen. She was my best friend, I cared deeply about her. I couldn't stand the thought of putting her in harm's way.

Even though I knew I wasn't thinking clearly, I still charged on ahead. I dragged air forcefully into my already burning lungs. Nothing could account for the desperation I felt. When the building came into sight I put on an extra burst of speed, racing across a roof and launching myself across the street. I began climbing up a few stories, almost loosing grip in my urgency. I burst in through her window - she leaves it unlocked for me, knowing that I commonly drop in - and had to stop myself from yelling out her name. I glanced around. The light was off and she wasn't in the room.

My throat seemed to drop into my stomach and I swallowed down rising bile._ Okay,_ I coached myself, _just because she isn't here does _not _mean that something's happened. Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe she's out with friends. Or... something._ I wished that the little pep talk had done more good. In all honesty, it just made me more fidgety and anxious. I wanted to go talk with Gwen's mom, but it would appear odd if I just suddenly showed up in their house. When I began to reach into my backpack to grab my phone to text Gwen, I noticed hers laying uselessly on the bed.

"Shit," I mumbled to myself and then repeated the curse, this time louder. My one connection to her was gone. I fell to the floor and pulled of my mask, shocked when I felt dampness on my face. Had I started crying? I hurriedly brushed away the tears. It wasn't out of sadness, not yet. The panic and anxiety had toyed with my emotions, knocking away my heavily-guarded barriers and leaving my soul raw.

I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my forehead there, running my hands through my hair. Slowly, I took a few much-needed deep and soothing breaths. I had to calm down. By this time, I was sure I was in a complete panic and was about to begin hyperventilating. I raised my head and took another look around. Nothing out of place; her room was clean and orderly, like always. I put back on my mask when I decided it was time to head elsewhere.

I stood carefully, bracing one hand on the bed as I pulled myself shakily to my feet. After a few more measured breaths, I headed for the window and yanked myself up on the sill, perching there. I gazed out into the city and noticed it had gotten almost fully dark out. Various colored lights were visible everywhere I looked. Aunt May must be wondering where I was, but I couldn't go home. Not now. Way too much was currently at stake.

Suddenly, an idea on how to talk to Mrs. Stacy came to me. It was so obvious I wondered why I hadn't thought of it before now. As soon as I had moved out of the window and closed it, I started down the building. I used the fire escape for occasional balance, but I mostly just crawled my way down. I jumped to the ground when I was ten feet away and promptly dashed into a dark street. A few people lingered about, but I pulled out my phone anyway and dialed the Stacy's home number.

I had about given up hope of them answering when someone picked up.

"Hi, Mrs. Stacy? It's Peter," I responded, hoping my voice wasn't as shaky as I thought it sounded. "Uhm... Is Gwen there?" I swallowed.

There was a brief hesitation and then she said, "Oh, hello Peter. And no, she isn't. I haven't seen or heard from her since she got out of school. Why, is something wrong? You sound out of breath."

I laughed nervously and moved the phone to my other ear. "No, no. Everything's fine. Can you, uh, let me know if you hear from her? I'd like to talk to her, it's important."

"All right, I certainly will. Glad to know you two are talking again. Is that all you need?"

"Thanks so much, and yeah, it is. Bye, Mrs. Stacy," I said, already beginning to pull the phone away from my ear. I ended the call and put my hand to my forehead, sinking down the wall I was leaning against. She didn't know where Gwen was. It wasn't like Gwen to just disappear after school, she would have let her mom know. Wouldn't she have? I grunted and wondered what to do next.

I wasn't a detective or anything. I just helped fight crime. Knowing where to look for someone or where to find clues? I didn't even know where to even begin. Plus, it was getting late. I played with the idea of heading home and starting off fresh tomorrow, but I knew I wouldn't be able to rest all night.

I tried every immediate thing that came to my mind when I thought of where to find her. I called up a few of Gwen's closer friends, but they all hadn't seen her since she left school. She wasn't at any of her usual hang-outs. I'd even called the school and asked if they had heard anything.

Only one option was left that I could think of. I headed to the address that was written on the wall, the one that I was told to meet up at a few days from now. I cautiously made my way through the ever-darkening streets. I was nervous about what I would find at the location. Was it a trap? Would something terrible happen if I went there? I swallowed, pushing aside my own fears. Gwen was all that mattered. I couldn't put my own safety above hers.

The address led me to a vacant lot. There were a few weeds scattered on the ground and it was fenced it. Trash and other unseemly items were thrown about. After doing a quick scan for danger, I hopped the fence and dropped to the other side. The barbed-wire at the top had slit open my hand and I felt warm blood trickle down my fingers. I should have been more careful, it was a sloppy mistake.

Even though I didn't see anything that would give me any leads straight off, I still walked around the lot. It wasn't very big. A few bricks were stacked in one corner, probably from some long-abandoned construction project. I knew it wasn't likely, but I hoped that I'd find at least _something_. Instead, the search yielded nothing.

By the time I finished, it was nearing midnight. I had run out of options, no further ideas sprang into my mind. I didn't want to acknowledge the inevitable, though it was staring me straight in the face. Gwen was missing. Those three words felt like a dagger to my heart and with each moment that passed, that blade was being twisted.

I'd make the bastards that kidnapped her regret the day they were brought into this world. I had a futile hope that somehow, someway, she'd just appear at school in a few hours and everything would be all right. But I knew that this fantasy would probably never be true. I'd put her in danger, being seen with her as Spider-Man. And now it was she, not me, that was paying the price.

Out of alternatives and completely exhausted, I headed home. On my walk back, I put on my clothes over my suit and took off my mask. It was the usual thing I did when coming home, just has to be sure no one saw me. I unlocked the door slowly, hoping that Aunt May had gone to sleep. She had, which I was thankful for. As quietly as I could, I headed up to my room and collapsed on the bed.

I didn't get any sleep that night.


	5. Dead End

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**__ HOLY CROW. I am so, so sorry for not updating sooner! If I still have any followers left for this story, you probably thought that I'd given up. Not to fear! I don't have any plans in ditching this story as of now. Just… school and other things tend to get in the way of my fanfiction writing time._

_Hooray! My first OC, Travis, is introduced in this chapter. Let me know what you think of him!_

_Sorry if this chapter is boring. It gave me a lot of trouble while writing it. I had to make a few different drafts. But I do have a basic, if not fully drawn out, idea of where I'm headed from here. Hopefully smoother waters are ahead. And if you guys have any ideas concerning the plot, I'd love to hear them! Just because I have plans as to where this is all going doesn't mean there isn't a little room for change._

_Please drop by a review if you have time. : )_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Spider-Man, the movies, or the comics. I only own the writing, story, and some OCs._

_-Indigo_

* * *

I was ready for school an hour before the bus was due to arrive. Hoping that Gwen had somehow made it home last night, I sent her a text. I stared at the phone for ten minutes, willing her to respond. There was nothing but silence on the other line. Eager to distract myself, I walked into the kitchen and began making breakfast. Miraculously, I'd remember to buy eggs. Although I was no chef, I somehow managed to get together two plates of scrambled eggs and slightly burnt toast. Aunt May was still sleeping, but I knew she would be up soon. I thought making her breakfast would be a nice apology for not showing up until way past midnight last night.

About ten minutes later she sleepily came down the stairs, wiping her eyes and yawning.

"Peter?" she asked, staring at me in dazed shock. "The bus doesn't come for another half an hour. Why are you already up and ready to leave?" She glanced at the table, taking note of the cooling plates of food laying there.

"Hi!" I said brightly, praying that my acting skills were still intact. "No reason. Just woke up earlier than normal."

She gave me an incredulous look, but asked no more questions. We ate mostly in silence, though I found it difficult to work up much of an appetite.

* * *

I left school early. Gwen hadn't been there. The teachers hadn't known where she was at. Aunt May would wring my neck because I skipped a few classes, but if my absence helped Gwen at all, it was all worth it. I had caused this. I made the mistake of being seen with her while I was Spider-Man.

And now she was paying the price that I very damn well should be paying.

Walking down the sidewalk, I tried to think. My hands were buried deep within my pockets and my form was slouched. I was completely and utterly at a loss. I thought about telling the police that Gwen was missing, but I'm sure Mrs. Stacy has already informed them. Besides, what could the fuzz do that that Spider-Man couldn't?

I wandered the streets aimlessly, hoping to catch sight of something, _anything_, that could help me. My hopes dropped each hour that went by. It was starting to grow dark, the sun descending along with my resolve.

I glanced up suddenly. I'd absentmindedly wandered back to the alleyway where I'd cornered the man who had stolen the spiders just yesterday. I couldn't believe so little time had passed between now and then. It felt like a lifetime since that incident.

Pulling my head up with effort, I looked at the wall where the message had been scrawled. It was gone. I was almost grateful. I don't think I could stand seeing those gut-wrenching words again.

Suddenly, I felt my phone buzz. I pulled it out of my pocket.

"Hello?" I said.

"Peter? It's Mrs. Stacy. I was just wondering if… if you knew where Gwen was. Did you find her after you called last night? She never came home. I'm worried. I can't…" The line fell silent. I thought I heard a barely stifled sob in the background. "I can't lose her too."

I took a deep breath before answering, not trusting my voice to remain steady. "No, I haven't seen her. I promise you, though. I'll do everything I can to find her." It wasn't often that I spoke with that amount of dead-seriousness. I think the resolve in my voice caught her off guard.

"Thanks, Peter. Please call me if you hear anything." The line went dead, without so much as a "good-bye."

I ran my hand over my face, taking a shuddering breath. I had to wait, it seemed. Wait until three days from now when I was due to meet up with Gwen's captors in that vacant lot. I didn't feel, especially at the moment, like exhibiting just how much patience I could endure before I went insane.

Unzipping my backpack, I vanished into a shadowed alley and took off my outer layer of clothes. I always wore my suit under my regular clothes these days. After placing my jeans and tee-shirt into the backpack, I pulled out my police scanner and flipped it on, listening.

I desperately needed a distraction.

And who knows? I might even hear something that could give me a lead on where they had taken Gwen. I guess that's what I was mainly hoping for.

There was a robbery of a clothing store on 31st Street, with the suspect getting away, so I decided to swing over there to see what was going on. The woman, it turned out to be, had stolen a few fur coats that were well worth over $1,000 apiece. It was rather hard to miss a lady running down the street with a bulging black garbage bag over her shoulder, at least from my height up on the buildings. After handing her over to the cops (which I did as quickly as possible, to avoid arrest myself), I perched myself on top of a building.

The police scanner was gripped loosely in one hand. I heard a couple of cases that sounded interesting, but I didn't feel like responding to them. I sighed, shooting a web across the street and webbing my way down to the ground. My feet touched the sidewalk and I looked around. The street I'd landed in appeared to be rather empty. A homeless man was curled up into a ball across the road, fighting the chill of the oncoming winter. The sight made my heart ache in pity. It was a sight I was used to seeing in New York City.

There were a few cars that drove by. They all slowed to look at me, like I was some sort of roadside exhibit, but I ignored them. One man even yelled at me in some foreign language that I didn't understand. I had the sneaking suspicion that I had just been sworn at.

I didn't know why I was walking around dressed as Spider-Man. People always tended to flock to where I was at, so they were likely to start swarming this street in a matter of minutes. I chewed the inside of my cheek.

I figured I'd head home. Maybe try and get some much needed sleep, although it would be a miracle if I actually managed to drift off. My thoughts were running haywire, thinking about Gwen continually.

Suddenly, I felt a yank on the back of my collar. I was roughly pulled into a side street. I reacted immediately, cracking my elbow across my attacker's face and spinning around to face him. It was a young man, not much older than me, with dirty-blonde hair and warm greenish-gray eyes.

Dropping into a ready stance, I waited for him to make the first attack. To my surprise, he lifted his hands in defeat. My clenched fists lowered slightly, but I wasn't letting my guard down completely.

"Hey, I was just trying to help. You keep at that and maybe I won't tell you what I know about Gwen," he said, hands now above his head.

I lost all sense of rational thought as I threw myself at him, pinning him against the wall, my arm across his throat. He gagged, the pressure on his windpipe completely cutting off his air. I didn't even move my arm to allow him to breathe. I wasn't thinking correctly.

"What have you done with her?"

His mouth opened wordlessly and he tried to speak, but it came out as a hoarse rasp. I blinked, finally pulling back my arm slightly. The young man gasped in air. "Man, what was that for? A guy just tries to help and he gets—"

I cut him off as I repeated, "What have you done with her?!"

His eyes rolled. "Well, you certainly aren't a people person. And if you'd let me go, I'd be able to help you. I'm on your side, you know. Though, after this I'm not altogether too sure whose side I'm on…" I was shocked that his face didn't betray any hint of fear. This guy was either very brave or very foolish.

Still tensed, I backed away about two feet. If this man had information about Gwen, I had to hear it. He brought up a hand to rub his doubtlessly aching throat. "Well then, that's better. I'm Travis. Nice to meet you, Spider-Man."

"What do you know what Gwen? Stop stalling and talk."

"Tch… Always back to that topic, aren't we? Anyway, I know who took her. I don't know where they have her, though. But, if we teamed up, I'm sure we'd be able to find her." I decided I really didn't like this dude's attitude. The calm and collected way he had of speaking, especially in the face of danger, was being to get on my nerves.

I waited for him to continue with my arms crossed.

I knew I was being a snappy jerk. I knew I shouldn't be angering the man who supposedly could tell me who had taken Gwen.

I just found I didn't care anymore.


End file.
